Ripping Out My Soul
The first year I started to working with my back-yard garden and the front-yard containers it was an experiment. I wanted green and beauty and life around me and each of those were indeed the results of what was really a little effort and some money. And care of course.
After a year of gardening, the unexpected happened also: my discovery that nurturing plants through weeding, watering, feeding provided food for my soul too — a sense of serenity and well-being. Now my garden is a haven of (usually) quiet: a place to read or meditate, or sit with Llewellyn to speak about our respective days. Sometimes coffee and newspapers in the morning, othertimes watching the sun set and seeing the lightening bugs flash around us. For me there is a sense of continuity being in the garden. It takes me to many childhood days — whenthe honeysuckle blooms the fragrance reminds me of my grandmother’s house in Holyoke. And so on.
That is why this morning when I looked at my front yard containers and saw one missing it broke my heart. This was the container of Rudbeckia, nutured from seed I love their fuzzy foliage and the brilliant blooms were just beginning. But, someone stole the entire container, which was large (20″ pot, 3′ high with plants) and quite heavy — my guess is premeditated with a car. I went inside and had a good cry, called Llewellyn, had another good cry, walked around the neighborhood streets in case it was a stupid thief (no luck) then returned home and moved everything else into the back yard.
Thanks for ripping out my soul, asshole. I hope you rot in hell.

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